30 Day Challenge VLog: "They Never Do"

I want to bring some more consistency to my blog and in an effort to do so, I've decided to do a 30 day writing challenge on both of my blogs! For today's post , I'm suppose to write 10 things about myself but instead I'm going to do you all one better and post a video of me performing a poem last night entitled " They Never Do." When I heard about this poetry event, Voices In Power, I knew that I wanted to write something new and personal. Something that spoke to where I am right now in my life and "They Never Do" is a perfect representation of that. I was a bit reluctant to post this video because with the poem being newly written I did mess up a little bit , but I chalked it up to being human and have decided to post it any way. I pray you all receive it that way my heart gave it.


Have to give a huge shout out to my friend , the beautiful and talented Ms. Ari Leticia, who helped to make this piece one of my favorites :)


-Taj

Confession Time: Wanna Make God Laugh?

You wanna hear something funny ?

Last year around this , a few months before my 23rd birthday , I decided that I wouldn't wait any longer than 23. I got to the point where I was tired of being the only one "not doing" and I basically gave God my deadline requirement! In retrospect , I realize how much of a slap in the face that was and also how downright ridiculous I sounded . As if giving God an ultimatum would some how make him move faster. Funny, right ? I was lost and feeling like I could do better than God could and really just testing my faith and his grace. When I said it I knew I could never really go through with anything , face it , I've waited this long . But some part of me wanted to believe I could and that's the part that messed me up . I was that ready to give up on God , someone who has never failed me all in the name of being like "everyone else." That was nothing but flesh talking and I am happy to say that I am nearing my 24th birthday and I more willing to wait than I have ever been. I know God got me.

"Waiting & Dating": Same Game

This blog post doubles as a diary entry that I recorded that I decided deserved to be posted. By now you all know that I am a virgin waiting for marriage. That should come at no surprise because I have made it painstakingly clear * beats dead horse.* But I have never expressed any judgment or contempt toward those who choose to live their lives differently. We all have to answer for our actions and I'm no better than anyone else. Unfortunately, I just can never seem to get the same kind of respect from my peers. I hear all too often , in rebuttal to my vow to wait, "Would you buy a car without test driving it first?" , " Would you buy the cow without trying the milk?" I just recently brought a car and my house has no shortage of milk but I'll bite. Of course I wouldn't! I would be quite foolish to do such a thing. But really , in the back of my mind, I can't help but to be offended. Not only did you insult my intelligence by asking such remedial questions , but you managed to degrade my body and my values toward it ,by comparing them to objects to be brought. I am not asking anyone to understand my choices. Heck I do enough of that myself.  But I will ask that you respect them. For some people sex is just sex, nothing more nothing less. And if that's what you believe , than who I am to tell you any differently. But for me , sex is more than just penetration. So I'm waiting. I really wish that guys were taught to value and cherish their bodies instead of passing it off as a "girl thing." And for all the guys who chime " I'll wait, but I'll get it from somewhere else in the mean time"  there is a special place for your kind. Don't appease me by pretending to love me enough to wait, but not really. It's all or nothing with me. I get it , everybody ain't with that. Good thing to, because I'm not for everybody. So just think about that next time you to rationalize my values with your flawed logic. It's called morals. Jerk.

The Grass Isn't Always Greener (Believe me I checked)

 When it comes to sex I've always had a "So what's the big rush?" state of mind. I could never come to terms with why it was just this big "thing." Especially if you arent having it , seeing as though you get a lot of flack if you aren't . Sex is suppose to enhance a marriage , and in that context I can completely understand the need/want, but I'm not married (yet).  So maybe about a week back I took a survey on both my Instagram and Facebook account to get a better feel for whether or not I am really missing out on something . The general consensus is a huge resounding NO. Let me be the first to say I knew that already, but I thought I'd give it the benefit of the doubt . One of my many concerns with pre-martial sex is giving a piece of myself to someone who could very well leave soon after or worse I'll later regret even being with them. That's not to say that you can't do it the right way(for intents and purposes) and not have your regrets, but I feel like for me , knowing I did it the way I felt was best will trump any of those feelings. Okay so on to the results, the survey was answered by 12 people ( all women in their early to late 20's ) and the question was pretty straightforward : 

"How many people are still with the person they lost their virginity to ? If not, did it end on good terms & would you ever sleep with them again ?"

Of those 11 only 3 people are still with the person they lost their virginity to ( one waited until married which gives me hope) . And of the remaining 8 only one person stated that the relationship ended on good terms and that she would be willing to sleep with them again. The other 7 were very adamant about not wanting to go back to that relationship let alone sleeping with them again. And that's what stood out to me the most . While I'm glad that the 3 couples exist who are still together , I'm not naive enough to overlook the other 8. The last thing I want is to wait so long to share this gift with someone to somewhere along the lines regret it. Again , nothing's guaranteed , but the chances that a man will go through the entire process of marrying someone just for sex is a bit ludicrous . However, crazier things have happened though haha. All in all I sought out to see if the grass was greener on the other side , and I'm here to tell you , it's not ( in most cases). I don't knock anyone who chooses to have sex before marriage , that's not my place, all I can ask in return is for my decision to be respected . Because honestly , according to the facts , it ain't all it's cracked up to be ( the process not the actual action , I'm sure that's fairly lovely) 

Well , that's my take .