"Waiting & Dating": Same Game

This blog post doubles as a diary entry that I recorded that I decided deserved to be posted. By now you all know that I am a virgin waiting for marriage. That should come at no surprise because I have made it painstakingly clear * beats dead horse.* But I have never expressed any judgment or contempt toward those who choose to live their lives differently. We all have to answer for our actions and I'm no better than anyone else. Unfortunately, I just can never seem to get the same kind of respect from my peers. I hear all too often , in rebuttal to my vow to wait, "Would you buy a car without test driving it first?" , " Would you buy the cow without trying the milk?" I just recently brought a car and my house has no shortage of milk but I'll bite. Of course I wouldn't! I would be quite foolish to do such a thing. But really , in the back of my mind, I can't help but to be offended. Not only did you insult my intelligence by asking such remedial questions , but you managed to degrade my body and my values toward it ,by comparing them to objects to be brought. I am not asking anyone to understand my choices. Heck I do enough of that myself.  But I will ask that you respect them. For some people sex is just sex, nothing more nothing less. And if that's what you believe , than who I am to tell you any differently. But for me , sex is more than just penetration. So I'm waiting. I really wish that guys were taught to value and cherish their bodies instead of passing it off as a "girl thing." And for all the guys who chime " I'll wait, but I'll get it from somewhere else in the mean time"  there is a special place for your kind. Don't appease me by pretending to love me enough to wait, but not really. It's all or nothing with me. I get it , everybody ain't with that. Good thing to, because I'm not for everybody. So just think about that next time you to rationalize my values with your flawed logic. It's called morals. Jerk.

" Waiting & Dating"- Are all guys the same?

I'm always disappointed when another guy is scared off by my vow to wait for marriage to have sex. And each time my esteem takes a blow. I know I shouldn't take it personally , that everyone is entitled to their own preference, but I can't help but feel like I'm not enough. It's like, they don't even stick around to get to know me better. That tells me that all they've ever wanted was sex and because I couldn't give them that , I'm a waste of their time. And that hurts. It's a pain that can't be numbed. I try really hard not to let it bother me , but it does. Honestly , it's really discouraging to think that I'm not worth getting to know because I prefer to keep my legs closed. There's so much more to me , I promise. And I'm waiting for the day when someone will take the time to find that out. But I fear , that no one ever will. And I don't know what's worst the waiting or the fear that I'm waiting in vain.

"Waiting & Dating"- Introductions

Starting this blog I kind of jumped right into it , no introductions or anything . Allow me to apologize for that . I have another blog and I sometimes forget that they aren't synonymous and that you all don't know me as well as though who follow my Just Talk, Ill Listen blog on Wordpress. My name is Nataja , I'm 22 and I am abstaining until marriage. And yes, I am still a virgin. This is important to these series of posts I will be writing under the name "Waiting & Dating" , in which this is the first one. I want to take you guys on the ride as I experience dating ,and all the things that come with it ,for the first time as a woman who plans to save sex for her wedding night. I have never been on an official date and I've never had a boyfriend so everything is pretty new to me. I have a feeling I won't be writing too soon about any dates seeing as though guys can never seem to get pass the fact that I won't sleep with them. Pray for me. I need it haha.