The Ones Who Stay

We break and we bend
We stretch our skin to be more
To be enough
But it never is
We seek closure behind closed doors
and closed off hearts
We adore you when you ignore us
We always love more , give more
than we get
And oh how quickly
and easily you forget
We stay and we rationalize
We breathe pain and exhale cries
We eat your broken promises for breakfast
Taste your infidelity for dinner
And still can stomach fixing your plate
Yeah the sorrys they come
But they're always too late
They always feel empty
This house feels cold
We laugh like it's funny
But the jokes getting old
The days are getting long
And love is starting to feel
a hell of lot like playing the fool
Because , I mean, if you really love him
Won't you ?
Don't we ?
We break and we bend
We stretch our skin to be more
But what happens when we have nothing left to give,
nothing left to say ?
Do you really wanna know
what it feels like to lose
The Ones Who Stay?

-Nataja Zanelle

Poem of the week: " The Fix"

He was a collector of broken things

So there was no surprise when he chose me

In my reflection he saw a glimpse of himself

Thinking he might heal if he fixed me

I was blinded by love, but that's not why he picked me

He was trying to soothe his ego

Breaking my heart to make him whole

He was selfish , but I stayed

But that wasn't without consequence

My heart paid the price for being complacent

in a situation that was unhealthy

I'm sure he thought he loved me

But really , he loved that I was more broken

Heart still open

A reminder that there is always someone worst off

You can't fix you by breaking me

Or at least, that's what I thought.

-Taj

Poem of the Week : "Fall In"

I look for you in crowds
even when I know you're no where around
Your face has been ingrained in each and every single day dream
Since the day that I met you
I just can't seem to shake you
It's frustrating
This building unwarranted anticipation
Just to knowingly climax into disappointment
It's like I have a standing appointment with rejection
 I try to convince my reflection
That you're not out of my league
But the friend-zone was built on the backs of girls like me
Who am I fooling?
Sitting here thinking bout you
What am I doing?
Other than losing my sanity
Over a man who didn't choose me
Yet here I am searching for your face
everywhere that I go
My mind pleading, " Taj, let him go"
But my heart always wins
Why does this keep happening
I thought only fools fall in ?
-Taj

Soul Vibes: Volume I (Poetry Album)

Okay so I'm back. I'm sorry that I leave you all for so long , but I never leave you with nothing. As much as I love blogging , it's not the only thing that I love to do and at times I tend to stretch myself thin, but that's how I work best.; strangely enough. But I'll always come back to you. Promise.

So if you follow me on any of my social media handles then you know that I have been WERKING. I am pretty much operating in all of creative compacties and I am LOVING it. One of my newest works is my poetry album, "Soul Vibes: Volume I" which is a compliation of poetry about love , life and crazy enough, sex. It is like nothing you have ever heard from me and I think that's what makes it special. I kind of go there and push the limits of creative license because some of the material is totally not from my own personal experience , but I needed to try something new and my imagination is bananas. I really hope you all can vibe to it, pun intended. So here's the link for my first poetry album ever and I pray you all love it as much as I do!

Disclaimer: "Come" & "Tonight" are the reason the album has the Parental Advisory Label so proceed with caution. That aside, they are my favorites on the album haha.

-Taj<3

www.soundcloud.com/natajazanelle

"Waiting & Dating" : The Waiting Game

So there's this guy . . .

Isn't that how all your stories start?

But this one is different . . .

Aren't they all?

Right now I'm torn between maybe he's the one and maybe I just want him to be .

And my mind is telling me to slow down , but my heart keeps on rushing me .

Because I'm tired of waiting , tired of lonely tired of being the only one without "the one"

What's the point of late night talks and early morning hellos if it goes no where?

What's the point of spilling your heart and bearing your soul if no one really cares ?

What ever happen to roses and first dates

Pillow talk and staying up late

Phone calls just to hear their voice on the other line

Please , please tell me I'm not wasting my time .

On you . On this .

Please, please don't ever having me questioning

"What is this?" or "What  are we?"

Promise you'll make it clear before it ever gets that far .

I don't wanna be the only one trying , the only one who's all in , head over feet

And I know it's too early to tell , but I always play for keeps

Because what's the point if there's no end

I want a husband , I have enough "just friends"

I just need to know where I stand , so I know whether it's safe to fall

Give me your word & I'll give you my all.
-Taj

Poetic Injustice

Sometimes poetry isn't always pretty. I think people have this misconception about poets, as if every word that flows out our mouths is fully constructed ; every thought worth being written. It's not true. More times than not we are at an absolute lost for words and when we finally find them they are hardly coherent until glossed over. At least this is true with me. For every poem that I am half-way satisfied with there a dozen others crumbled beyond legibility. And even then I am subconsciously editing and re-editing until there is no other combination of stanzas and rhythmic cadences that could work. Sometimes my poems don't always rhyme and then sometimes they rhyme too much. I repeat myself, I over-emphasize. It's a mess and accurately so. Poetry is not without flaws, for me, it is embracing them. Sometimes poetry isn't always pretty, but it sure does sound that way, doesn't it?