Confession Time: Wanna Make God Laugh?

You wanna hear something funny ?

Last year around this , a few months before my 23rd birthday , I decided that I wouldn't wait any longer than 23. I got to the point where I was tired of being the only one "not doing" and I basically gave God my deadline requirement! In retrospect , I realize how much of a slap in the face that was and also how downright ridiculous I sounded . As if giving God an ultimatum would some how make him move faster. Funny, right ? I was lost and feeling like I could do better than God could and really just testing my faith and his grace. When I said it I knew I could never really go through with anything , face it , I've waited this long . But some part of me wanted to believe I could and that's the part that messed me up . I was that ready to give up on God , someone who has never failed me all in the name of being like "everyone else." That was nothing but flesh talking and I am happy to say that I am nearing my 24th birthday and I more willing to wait than I have ever been. I know God got me.

#QuotesFromFlo

"They're all different , until they're all the same" - A woman tired of the lies

Much Needed Reminder

Lately I've been struggling with my decision to wait and like always God comes through and sends a reminder of why I feel the way I do . Things like this keep me going when I don't quite feel like it. So thank God for TimeHop. 

Note To Self:Entry 2

So you were wrong about that guy, and the guy before that and the guy before that. You are always wrong. Never enough. Always too much. It's frustrating, it's heartbreaking, its . . . too much. It always starts out great ; good conversation and seemingly pure intentions. But at some point the façade always fades and the truth makes a liar out of you. Some stick it out longer than others , giving you the hope that maybe just maybe, but then time makes a liar out of you. And its always the same, never a good bye , just a fade back to reality. To the reality that time, loyalty and love mean nothing if sex doesn't come with it. Your company , your presence are not adequate enough to hold a man's attention. That is frustrating, that is heartbreaking that is . . . too much.
But, you're not "holding out" to prove a point or to exert some kind of power over men , you're waiting because sex means more to you than temporary relationships and everlasting soul ties. You're waiting because sex is just as sacred to you as marriage and you would like to experience the two together. You're waiting because you want to stand before your husband on your wedding day knowing that he and only he will have a part of you that no man has ever or will ever have. That he will know depths of you that no man has ever known. That your mind, heart & body is entrusted in the hands of a man who stood before God and declared that he promised to protect it. And maybe to some people you're thinking is outdated or religious or downright illogical; maybe they're right. But faith is defined as : "... the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen". You believe in a God that you can't see so why is it so wrong to believe in a love you've never felt, from a man you've never met. Crazier things have happened. I know you're frustrated. I know you're heartbroken. And I know at times it can be . . . too much . But your prayer has been heard and your wait is not for naught. The same faith that has gotten you this far , will guide you down the isle. You've waited. Now wait just a while longer.


-Taj

Confession Time: Fallin'

I fall way too easily .

That's not me being hard on myself ; it's just the God honest truth . I wish that I had a pause button or a slow down knob , but my heart is always on go . And I can never seem to be able to tell where I stand with guys. I either underplay or over estimate . I am the queen of reading between lines that haven't been drawn. I suck at this dating game. Why so many games ? I just want to fall in love and be loved back . Is that really too much to ask for ? I know all things in due time , but I can't help but to think, will my time ever come ? I'm clearly not the only one trying to be the only one, but it's all I've ever prayed for . I'm believing God for someone ... We all want love. And I'm no exception.