Most days I feel like I'm going to die a virgin. And I feel horrible because that means that I don't trust that God will give me the desires of my heart. That he will bring the man that he has destined for me .
If I'm being honest ...
I don't see a world where I'm not a mother and a wife. I can't see it . I don't want to. More than anything , more than having fame and recognition , more than the world knowing my name all I really want is to come home to kids who scream "mommy" at the top of their lungs all day and a husband who doesn't know how to put down the toilet seat, but knows exactly what to do to make it up to me. I want a family. And I don't want to live in a world where that doesn't exist.
If I'm being honest ...
I'm crying as I type this , because I'm scared out of my mind that it won't happen. Scared that I'm not enough. That I'm too much. That this is all it will ever be.
Please God, don't let this be all it will ever be.
-Taj
